Think You Know ABA Therapy? Think Again.

Hannah Sides
Aug 22
6 min read

If you’re a parent, chances are you’ve heard of ABA therapy. Maybe you’ve read glowing reviews, or maybe you’ve seen heated debates online. So, what’s the truth?

Here’s the real story: Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is one of the most researched and effective ways to support children with autism—and it’s a tool that has helped athletes, parents, teachers, and even adults with everyday habits. But like any field, ABA has a history. Some outdated practices gave it a bad reputation that still lingers today.

The good news? ABA has evolved.

Modern ABA looks nothing like the rigid, one-size-fits-all therapy you may have heard about.

Today ABA is....

collaborative

compassionate

celebrate kids for who they while helping them gain real-life skills

In this post, we’ll clear up common myths about ABA and share what modern ABA really looks like—so you can make an informed decision for your child and family.

Myth #1: ABA is only for children with autism

Fact: ABA is for everyone.

When most people think of ABA, they think autism—and yes, ABA is a game-changer for many kids on the spectrum.

But here’s the surprise: ABA principles can be applied to any behavior or skill.

At its core, ABA is about understanding why behavior happens and how to shape it toward positive, meaningful outcomes.

Think about sports.

Many coaches use ABA strategies without even realizing

it such as the following:

Research shows these tools improve performance and skill-building for athletes.

Parents use ABA every single day when they set:

routines
give praise
help their child with independence

Or consider bad habits we have as adults. Studies as far back as the 1970s found ABA-based strategies such as self-monitoring and gradual fading could help people fade a negative habit—even those facing serious health risks.

ABA is simply about understanding why behavior happens—and using that insight to create positive change.

Parent Tip: Ask your BCBA how ABA strategies can support your whole family, not just your child. You may be surprised by how practical and flexible it really is.

Myth #2: ABA forces children to act “normal”

Fact: Modern and progressive ABA supports authentic, meaningful goals carefully selected by the learner and/or their family.

Let’s be clear: Your child does not need to be “fixed.” Outdated versions of ABA sometimes pushed compliance at the expense of individuality—but that is not what ethical ABA looks like today.

One of the biggest misconceptions about ABA is that it stifles individuality or forces kids to “mask” who they really are. That idea comes from outdated practices and poorly implemented programs.

Modern ABA is about helping kids:

For example, instead of pushing a child to make eye contact because it “looks polite” (and let’s be real—manners look different across cultures anyway).

An ethical BCBA might support a child in:

learning how to share their interests with a friend
join a game on the playground
asking a friend to have lunch with them
express feelings in healthy ways

And if a child hand-flaps or hums to self-regulate?

A progressive BCBA won’t try to erase it just because it “looks different.”

Instead, they’ll focus on:

safety
comfort
providing options & never on stripping away what makes a child feel whole.

That would be like having an itch you’re never allowed to scratch. Instead, a BCBA may collaborate with an occupational therapist or introduce new activities that give the child more options to regulate, without erasing what helps them feel good.

Leaf et al. (2016) describe “progressive ABA” as focusing on meaningful client progress instead aiming at making someone look “typical.” Because, what is “typical”? At the end of the day, the goal is simple: helping kids build happy, fulfilling lives in ways that honor who they truly are.

Parent tip: Ask your BCBA how your child’s goals are chosen. The best programs make sure goals reflect what’s most important to your child and family, not just what looks good to outsiders.

Myth #3: ABA is just rigid drills

Fact: Effective and Quality ABA feels natural, playful, and human-centered

Picture this: instead of flashcards at a table, your child is laughing while playing their favorite game—and learning how to take turns in the process.

That’s ABA done right.

Old stereotypes paint ABA as endless flashcards and drills. In reality, effective ABA is built into play, conversations, and real-life routines. Yes, ABA uses reinforcement (because we celebrate progress, big and small, they are all wins), but ABA is about teaching people. Children learn best when they’re motivated, engaged, and having fun.

Today’s ABA is built into real life:

playdates
conversations
mealtimes
family routines

It’s about weaving learning into what your child already loves, so skills stick without endless repetition. High-quality ABA programs focus on naturalistic teaching. In real life, this might look like supporting a child in taking turns during a favorite game, or helping them practice requesting their preferred toy.

Parent Tip: Ask how your provider weaves teaching into play and daily activities. If therapy feels playful and connected, you’re on the right track.

Myth #4: BCBAs believe that only ABA is effective

Fact: Collaboration with other professionals makes ABA stronger.

While ABA has powerful tools, no single field has all the answers.

The best outcomes happen when BCBAs work alongside speech therapists, occupational therapists, teachers, medical providers, and—most importantly—parents.

When those approaches come together, the child benefits from the strengths of both fields, leading to more meaningful progress.

Parent Tip: At the start of ABA services, ask your provider how they collaborate with other professionals involved in your child’s care. You can also ask what role you play in keeping everyone connected—because when the whole team is on the same page, your child’s growth is even stronger.

Myth #5: ABA is all about punishment

Fact: ABA focuses on positive reinforcement.

It’s true – early versions of ABA sometimes relied on punishment-based strategies that, by today’s standards, would never be acceptable. The good news is that modern ABA looks very different. Today, the focus is on positive reinforcement – and decades of research have shown it’s the most effective way to increase positive behaviors and decrease challenging ones (Carter, 2013; Piazza et al., 2013).

Instead of using time-outs or taking away toys to stop unwanted behavior, an ethical BCBA will provide immediate, meaningful reinforcement for the behaviors they do want to see.

Some examples:

– asking for help

- sharing

- finishing a homework problem

Over time, these positive behaviors grow stronger and become your child’s natural go-to.

Parent Tip: Ask your BCBA to show you how reinforcement is built into therapy goals. The best strategies are simple enough to use at home too.

Bringing it All Together

ABA isn’t about making kids act “normal” or running them through endless drills. And it’s definitely not about changing who your child is. It’s about helping people gain the skills they need to live fuller, happier, and more independent lives—whether that’s a child on the spectrum, a teen building confidence, or even an adult trying to change a habit.

Modern ABA is rooted in respect, collaboration, and positive reinforcement. The goal isn’t to change who someone is, but to empower them to thrive as their authentic selves and to connect with the world around them in meaningful ways.

Parent Tip: Trust your gut. Ask your ABA provider about their approach, how they select goals, and how they collaborate with your family and other professionals. A good BCBA will welcome your questions and show you that you’re an equal partner in your child’s journey.

So, when you hear “ABA” think of progress, compassion, and partnership. And most importantly, know that the right ABA program will always keep your child’s happiness, dignity, and future at the heart of the process.

References

Carter, S. L. (2013). A comparison of various forms of reinforcement with and without extinction as treatment for escape-maintained problem behavior. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 46(1), 50–70. https://doi.org/10.1002/jaba.31

Leaf, J. B., Cihon, J. H., Ferguson, J. L., Milne, C. M., Leaf, R., McEachin, J., & Taubman, M. (2016). What is progressive ABA? Behavior Analysis in Practice, 9(3), 280–294. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40617-016-0128-7

Piazza, C. C., Fisher, W. W., Hanley, G. P., Remick, M. L., Contrucci, S. A., & Aitken, T. L. (1997). The use of positive and negative reinforcement in the treatment of escape-maintained destructive behavior. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 30(2), 279–298. https://doi.org/10.1901/jaba.1997.30-279